Transgender: Transition Success Series

Question: Am i transgender? what to do now?

(Posted by: Rhodes on 2010-01-20 10:41:25)

From very childhood days, I like more of feminine stuff than rough and tough games of boys. I like feminine aesthetics and glam and don't like to be in world of sports and athletics too much as it looks dark to me. As a boy, I often used to hang around with girls and I enjoyed female company more as we got to talk about many things that keep me lively- music, fashion, and cinema, in contrary to sports and SUVs guys discuss about. I watch a lot of chick- flicks, romantic movies, emotional serials, all of these have females as lead roles. But, it's not that I watch them only for appealing to my emotions, I also get an aesthetic pleasure from watching things which have females as lead roles. And the thing is, I really want to belong to the female aesthetic world despite having a male body. But it's not that this leads me to desire cross- dressing type stuff or putting on things like jewelry or change my body to female... though I love to put on perfumes and some beauty creams which can make me look very stylish, young and juvenile. I want to attract both guys and girls and make my appearance very special modern and nubile, and this increases my tendency to be feminine (as I don't see how one can look glam without being femme). Another manly thing I don't like is to be sexually virulent- I feel I don't like to go and make the first sexual advance as much as I want others to do that to me. I do wish I were born girl so that I wouldn't have to worry about my all this feminity then.... but, otherwise, if I am not thinking too much about it and am not ashamed of it or trying to repress my feminine side too much, I am okay as male too. But when I try to repress my feminine side hard to conform to male, my wish that I were born female comes and I find I am not happy as man because a man has to do so many "manly " things like sports and watching Terminator, which I dont enjoy or find dull if not outright repulsive, and also because I feel I like too appear beautiful and femme, something which others might hate even if I enjoy. I find most men not concerned about themselves as much as wanting to earn for their wives to spend. But, in my case, I find something not working this way.....Now, do these traits of mine make me transgender? What best can I do to address this problem?

Posted by: joemoser1948 on 2010-01-20, 10:49:01

No; they make you effeminate. Transgender means actually taking actions to change your gender (or at least the appearance of your gender - though that is actually transvestite, not transgender).

Posted by: adam on 2010-01-20, 10:52:57

Yes, I think you might be transgender, but not transsexual.

Posted by: Kate on 2010-01-20, 10:56:06

It sounds to me you are an effiminate male. like adam lambert, possibly. he is "girly " yet still passes for a man. There are places in the fashion/ modeling world for men. take miss J. alexander from "america's next top model " he is a runway/ fashion coach. there are places, you just have to find them. it also sounds as if you idolize the female form and lifestyle. there's nothing wrong with embracing it!

Posted by: Erica - Extreme Makeover Edition on 2010-01-20, 11:10:46

I'm guessing English isn't your first language? I don't think I've ever heard a person here say they want to be "nubile. " Anyway, wanting to attract both guys and girls has nothing to do with YOUR gender. That is your sexuality. The rest of this post sounds like you just looked up a whole bunch of examples of what is considered masculine and feminine, and then related how you like some and dislike others. These are nothing but nonsensical stereotypes. Plenty of women loves sports and watching films like Terminator. Plenty of men talk about fashion and romance. Lot's of women are sexually aggressive and lots of men as sexually reserved. Anyone can look "glam " whether they are feminine or not. It's just a look. You don't have a problem. You enjoy many things that are considered feminine. So do lots of other men. I'm not even sure this makes you transgendered. Continue to enjoy these things. There's nothing wrong with it.